on his first SA experience
"Very first appointment of the day, bariatric chair with crinkle paper, and a garbage can filled to the top with dirty tissues. Did I mention I was the first appointment of the day?"
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on results from his first SA (February 2014)
"Let's put it this way, more people showed up to the premiere of I, Frankenstein."
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on results from his second SA (March 2014)
"More people in your neighborhood PTA."
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on the cost of IVF
"Well, there goes the future bar/bat mitzvah."
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on browsing baby names on thebump.com
"These names are great...if you're trying to name gorillas at a zoo."
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on reviewing the medication flow chart
"What the fuck is this? Is this shit based on the phases of the moon?
How do we know what day is what?!"
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on thoughts after the embryo transfer
"We're buying you a wheelchair."
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on marriage after IVF
"You're like the strongest person I know. I'll never divorce you."
...thanks babe ;)
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on transfer day check-in
"Hi, we're here to pick-up our baby."
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on what not to say to someone dealing with infertility
"She said, everything happens for a reason. That's like saying your
suffering was meant to be."
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on failed cycle #1
"We don't accept quitters."
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on failed cycle #1
"That embryo is thinking -- oh, they don't have HBO?
I don't want to come into this world."
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on explaining our infertility situation to his aunt is Israel
"My hebrew is at a 3rd grade level...this conversation will be like...Hi. Penis no make babies."
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on speaking with the nurse following failed IVF cycle
"I'm just glad you have a no questions asked money back guarantee..."
fat chance ;)
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on our ER visit following D&C
"Well if we are paying for a room, we might as well stay the night."
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on receiving mail from the hospital
"Hmm. St. Barnabas, this is a pretty heavy envelope...
Porquoi?...Oh. Just a survey."
:: throws in garbage ::
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on discussing birth control with male factor infertility
"Rachael doesn't have to take anything...I'm the mirena!"
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on me leaving the bathroom light on
"Hey Rach, I just got a letter from the township.
Starting tomorrow electricity in bathrooms is free!"
oops ;)
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on comparing semen analyses
"His is like the streets of Bangkok on a holiday weekend. Mine is like Route 66"
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on adoption
"Adopt? I'm going to adopt four European vacations a year."
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as he prepares a batch of egg frittatas
"If I can't have kids, neither will you CHICKEN!"
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on opening the results of my hysteroscopy
"Looks like they found something...."
"Really? What?"
"A BILL!"
12 comments:
Oh my gosh I love this section my husband and I laughed and laughed :)
All we can do is keep laughing! ; )
This brought happy tears to my eyes from giggling. And there aren't many happy tears while battling infertility so...thanks! ;) Praying you get your Miracle soon. -Natalie
You have a good one there!
This is hilarious. At least you guys are laughing through all of this. I kind of forget to laugh sometimes. Also, I love your blog design--so clean and simple. I've had the same design since 2011 and it's buuuuusted! I need to update, stat.
I just thought about writing down everything my husband has said during our process!! I have to now!! laughing SO hard!
Hilarious! I'm sure there's never a dull moment!!
Thank you for this! You saved my day ����
Love this! :)
Hilarious! Good sense of humor.
So funny husband and I laughed and laughed
So I just stumbled across your site googling IVF. I'm laying in my bed a few hours after my egg retrieval in quite a bit of pain. I'm was reading your husbands comments and burst out laughing at his "we're here to pick up our baby" on you transfer day.... Then realized I hurt so much, laughing isn't possible. However, thank you both for bringing some light to my very painful and Uncomfortable day. I'm so happy to see that you were both blessed with two beautiful miracles. Hoping we get to same. What is you Instagram?
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