Dear Embryo 4AB...From Mommy, With Love...

Dear Embryo 4AB,

Welcome to my uterus! Take a look around. Plush isn't it? I hope after you're done exploring the place, you'll kick off your tiny metaphorical shoes, and make yourself at home, snuggling into that triple striped lining I've worked so hard to build for you.

Your daddy and I have put our all into creating you, in a very unconventional way. Though it's been a tough journey, no amount of money, needles, bad days, or emotional outbursts can hold us back from remaining hopeful that we will become parents, and be blessed with the opportunity to hold you in our arms one day.

You're very special 4AB. Despite the stigma around telling you that you're one-of-a-kind, the reality is, if you stick with me throughout these next nine months, you will absolutely be the most "special" thing to ever come into my little world. You'll be pampered, cosseted, doted upon, bubble-wrapped, and fawned over...because giving you life, and blessing us with the gift of parenthood will not have been an easy feat. So if you give me the chance, forgive me when I stare at you for hours on end, and want to hold you a little longer...a little closer. Forgive me when I parade you around like royalty. Forgive me for being overly cautious and overwhelmingly attentive. I won't be able to help myself for a while (like the next 10 years, at least), because I will love and cherish you in ways most people just won't be able to understand.

You see, you're one of only four embryos who had the strength to make it to day 5 in your little petri dish. We sadly said goodbye to one of your tenacious siblings earlier this year, who gave a valiant effort, but just couldn't hold on, and this morning another one of your embryo siblings perished during thaw. So we have a lot riding on you...no pressure.

I really hope you'll stick it out with us, 4AB. I so badly want to meet you, and introduce you to your daddy, who without reservation or exception, is the most compassionate, loving person on the planet. He's my everything... though you'll certainly give him a run for that title. So what about me? Well, I imagine I'll be a lovingly-neurotic-borderline-crazy-mom...but only initially. Once I get passed my mama-bear protective instincts, and the fear that you should live in a bubble...I imagine you'll think I'm pretty cool. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles and honorary aunts and uncles are probably going to spoil you to death. We'll do our best to keep you level-headed.

That said, I don't have many expectations for you...but I do hope you inherit the same passion, creativity, unrelenting determination, and interest in continuous learning that your daddy and I posses. More importantly, I just want you here, with us. I look forward to your future works of art all over my kitchen walls, milk spilled all over the couch, vomit, sleepless nights...you name it, I want it.

I'm both apprehensive and excited to let you know that you'll be joining us on our third wedding anniversary Wednesday evening. Pretty cool, right? We're taking you to one of our favorite restaurants. I'll order on your behalf, you just keep focusing on implanting your little self in for the long run.

I'd really love for you to be our silver lining in this very long and emotional journey. This process has brought out both the best and worst of me. Regardless, I am truly appreciative to be able to spend this time with you.

"You're every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had. And no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together, is the greatest day of my life."

Hang in there, little one. I’ll see you in June, 2015…hopefully.

Thank you to all of our lovely supporters, who have rooted us on every single step of the way. Your support means the world to me.