Things Not to Google Minutes Before a Scheduled HSG

Upfront Disclaimer: Everyone's experience may be different. However, if you're looking for a happy ending here, you'll want to click the back arrow at the top of your browser.

After my first visit with my RE, I was so excited and anxious to get through my testing checklist that I barely took time to even read it over. I didn't care what the tests were, what the purpose of each was, or what order they happened in...I just wanted answers.

Only one week after my first appointment, I was already booked for a full blood work-up, genetic testing and an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) at my local hospital.

Mistake #1 - Still completely uninformed about what I was actually in for, I stupidly booked my nine-vial blood work up and HSG back to back.

Not surprisingly, I passed out after the fourth vile. Didn't foam at the mouth this time, what an achievement! After finishing up, I walked my vampire looking ass out to the waiting room and vegged out until some of the color returned to my cheeks.

Off to the HSG, with 15 minutes to spare!

Mistake #2 - In the flurry of booking back to back appointments and trying to get everything done quickly, I completely forgot to start the required antibiotics before the HSG (oops!).

Fortunately, the nurse said I could start the medication in the evening, post procedure. Good to go!

Mistake #3 - I decided I would spend the next ten minutes figuring out what I was actually at the hospital for in the first place. :: Googles - "What is an HSG?" ::

...and it was at that very moment that the shrieks of murder from every horror movie I had ever seen began playing loudly in my head.

Words and phrases that jumped out at me:
  • Cleaning of the cervix
  • Catheter
  • Most painful thing ever
  • Worse than giving birth
  • Thought I was going to die
  • Almost threw up on the table

Awesome! 

Nurse: "Rachael, please follow me"
Me (in my head): "Noooooooooooooooo!"

The staff was super nice, but the damage was already done. I was freaked the fuck out and nothing they could say would really console me at this point.

I was given a gown and told to undress from waist down. Naturally, I kept my turtleneck and socks on for security. Then I entered the room of doom.



Mistake #4 - Glancing at the intimidating torture devices "tools" that were set out on the bedside cart. (I watch wayyyy too much shit on the ID channel).

As I got ready to mount the table for my cervical adventure, the nurse reassures me "It's just like your annual exam. No biggie. Five to ten minutes and then you're outta here."

In the voice of Spongebob... "t h i r t y  m i n u t e s  l a t e r "...

I am still on the table, tears streaming down my face, in pain, holding back my urge to vomit all over myself. Have you ever had your cervix CLEANED?! Oh. My. God. 

I'll spare you every gruesome detail, but basically after thirty minutes and two different size catheters, the test was cancelled. They were unable to get the catheter through my cervix. They attempted to release the dye at the tip of the cervix to see if it would flow through the tubes and sure enough, it just poured right out of me. Lovely!

When it was over, I felt like a used one night stand. I waddled myself to the bathroom with a crumpled up bed paper between my legs, strapped on my adult diaper, put on my jeans and left. I cried all the way out of the double doors, and didn't really care who saw.

Mistake #5 - Going alone.

Had I known what to expect, I would have absolutely had my husband by my side, but even Google couldn't prepare me for what I personally would experience. It sucked. To this day, I have no idea if my tubes are blocked or not, and frankly I don't care to know! IVF doesn't require my tubes to be functioning anyway.

If you're scheduled for an HSG and you've tortured yourself by reading this post, I will try to lighten things up for you a bit with a few pieces of advice to hopefully make for a better experience than mine...
  • Take Advil one hour before...and take many (without overdosing obvi)
  • Have someone with you for support
  • Wear leisure clothes for the aftermath
  • Be prepared for some pain, because I don't care what your doctor says, it will be uncomfortable at the very least.

If I was to do the procedure again (which I will not), I would specifically request my own RE do it, as I felt like the radiologist was just not as comfortable in the area (na' mean?). At least my cervix is clean. HA. 

Ahhhh....the journey of infertility <3

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 16, 2014

    I agree with you 100% worst experience of my life. I have never experienced pain like that before. For me I decided to google HSG on the table while waiting for the Doc. bad decision, I was looking around for a way out without the Doc noticing. The people on google were not exaggerating, that was the worse pain EVER. My husband came along with me (he's wonderful, he comes to ever appointment I have), unfortunately they would not let him back in the room, because they use live Xray feed for the exam. :( I can't explain the fear and pain I went though. I wish I had his hand to hold, it would have helped. Im sorry you had to go through it too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 25, 2014

    I HATED THAT it was the worst feeling in my life by far the worst in this journey

    ReplyDelete

 

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